Transformers

Nostalgia: a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition.

When people look back on their childhood, they tend to forget the bad and elevate the mediocre to greatness. We do this in part because a child knows no better…their father is the strongest, their mother the prettiest. If we were to look back objectively, through the jaded eyes of adulthood, perhaps certain people and things would lose a bit of their luster. At the age of 28, I look back on the things I enjoyed in my childhood of the 1980’s. Michael Jackson was the MAN. Everyone had to have a Cabbage Patch. And the cartoons seemed to have been the best that they ever could have been. We didn’t have Pixar and Dreamworks movies like Shrek and Cars. We had REAL cartoons. I’m talking about Thundercats, Jem and the Holograms, G.I. Joe, and of course Transformers. Now most little girls didn’t get into Transformers, and I’m not gonna say that it was my favorite, but I remember it and I remember liking it. Who didn’t love Optimus Prime, the red and blue truck, the good guy?! Autobots vs. Decepticons, Good vs. Evil. It’s these memories that 80’s babies will recall with warm fondness when they flood theaters to behold the TREAT that is Transformers. I’m not saying that the under 20 crowd can’t appreciate it too, but there’s nothing like seeing the live action version of an old animated favorite. The audience around me was positively giddy when Optimus Prime made his first appearance.

I have to applaud director Michael Bay (The Island) for his vision and for remaining true to the cartoon. This movie was nothing short of amazing, I’m almost at a loss for words. The only flaw (which I didn’t even care about) was that little parts of the story and dialogue were a bit campy and silly. Who cares????? The overall plot was in keeping with the cartoon, and the acting and pacing were just fine. There weren’t too many explosions or needless bits of action. The whole movie was an adrenaline rush. The story centers around the transformers' search for a magical cube which will transform the Earth’s machines into, well…transformers. The Autobots are trying to get to the cube before the Decepticons and need the help of a teen named Sam (Shia Lebouf of Disturbia) to discover its location. I won’t tell you how or why his character is important, JUST GO SEE THE MOVIE!! No self-respecting adult between the ages of 26 and 32 can miss it.

1408

Based on a short story by Stephen King, 1408 provides chills in the summertime heat. John Cusack (Identity) stars as Mike Enslin, a writer popularly known for his exploration of "haunted" hotels. Mike's job is to patronize these hotels and compile a list of the most spooky. When he learns of fabled room 1408 in The Dolphin Hotel, he decides that a write-up of the room would be perfect for the next edition of his series.

When he arrives at The Dolphin, its manager (Samuel L. Jackson of Black Snake Moan) ardently attempts to dissuade him from checking in. There have been approximately 50 deaths in room 1408, both natural and unnatural. The room is only cleaned once a month by a team of maids, and the door remains open the entire time. Say word! That would've made me do an about-face, but this is the movies and John Cusack is a white boy (we know how they are oblivous to danger) so of course this only makes the room sound more appealing. Enslin checks into the room, which turns out to be a living hell. The series of misfortunes that befall him are alternatingly nightmarish and comically pitiful. 1408 won't keep you up at night, but it was pleasantly disturbing. Check it out.

Live Free or Die Hard

I was looking forward to Bruce Willis' (The Perfect Stranger) return as John McClane, our familiar reluctant hero. Bruce looks good for his age and seemed up to the task of reprising the role, but alas I was disappointed. I don't care how many critics enjoyed this movie...I did not. And let me tell you why.

The stunts, action, and at times the storyline were all ridiculous. Let me start at the beginning. John is given the task of transporting a suspected computer hacker named Matt Farrell from Jersey to D.C. Sounds simple enough, but we know that it won't be. Turns out that some terrorist/anarchists want Matt dead. Oh by the way, the character of Matt is portrayed by that dude who plays the "Mac" computer in those Mac vs. PC commercials. Weird. I couldn't divorce him from the commerical. Back to the plot: the same guys who are trying to off Matt are also unleashing a terror plot against the country whereby the nation's computers have been sabotaged. I'll spare you the intricate details, you can thank me later. Suffice it to say that there are plenty of action-packed moments, but everything seemed contrived and I couldn't help but compare the movie to its three predecessors. Live Free or Die Hard is easily the weakest of the four. Picture the following sequence of events: Bruce Willis leaps from a speeding police car, but manages to aim the abandoned cruiser perfectly so that it will crash directly into an airborne helicopter while the chopper's pilot jumps from the aircraft before impact and emerges unscathed. Yeah, exactly. I mentally checked-out at that point. Live Free lacked the pins-and-needles suspense of the original and the taut, harried vibe of the third installment, Die Hard With a Vengeance. Hell, even Die Hard 2 was better than this one. At least in that one you felt that McClane was compelled to action by his sense of duty and the circumstances in which he found himself. That motivation seems absent in Live Free.

There are other movies that have similar themes and elements to Live Free or Die Hard that were much better. For example, the idea of someone using technology to spy on your every move and manipulate you with computers and surveillance was tackled much better by a movie called Enemy of the State. I wanted to like this movie, I really did. I mean, I didn't hate it but that's not exactly a ringing endorsement. I'm sure it will do well because many people get all warm and nostalgic when thinking about the original Die Hard, but sometimes you can go to the well one time too many. Wait for it on HBO.