Wow. I’d had a nice little run of seeing some pretty enjoyable movies up until now. Morbid, violently depressing, and oddly unbelievable, Death Sentence left me feeling like I’d been suckered. First let me say that I’m a fan of revenge flicks, but what Death Sentence lacked was a degree of plausibility. Everything about this Kevin Bacon (The Woodsman) flick stretched the bounds of patience.
Bacon plays Nicholas Hume, an executive with the picture-perfect family. He has a loving wife and two good kids. His oldest son Brendan is a star hockey player with a bright future. Things couldn’t be more wonderful, until one fateful night Brendan becomes the victim of a most gruesome crime, a gang initiation murder. When the district attorney tells Nick that his best bet is to hope for 3-5 years for his son’s killer, he decides to dish out his own brand of justice. What follows is a deadly back-and-forth game of "one upsmanship" between Nick and the gang. We want to cheer for Nick, as the loss of his oldest child is both devastating and tragic. However, the movie ventures into ridiculous territory fairly quickly. For example, as Nick literally runs for his life, bad guys fire bullets from close range that magically miss their mark, despite being shot from a distance of about 10 feet. In the beginning of the movie Nick is hapless, defeating his adversaries by sheer luck and resourcefulness. By the end of the movie, he’s some kind of gun-wielding badass, beating people up left and right. I wasn’t buying it. Additionally, the police detective working the case (Aisha Tyler) doesn’t seem too concerned that Nick has taken the law into his own hands. Yeah right! I know it’s a movie, but I don’t deal in foolishness. The one positive thing about the movie was that the beginning portion depicting the aftermath of Brendan’s murder was touching, characterized by the essence of grief and despair. It seemed almost voyeuristic, a glimpse into a family’s very real attempt to cope with the unthinkable. However, one good sequence does not make a movie. An overall downer, Death Sentence is one to skip; a fitting name for a movie that is sure to flop at the box office.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Illegal Tender
Everything has its place. That’s why I love the movies. The offerings run the gamut from cinematic masterpieces like The Godfather to stoner flicks like Half Baked. And it’s all good. Illegal Tender will not go down as one of the greats, and that’s fine. Most movies don’t fall into that category anyway. What I will say about Illegal Tender is that it is a supremely entertaining crime drama, a tale of a young man who must confront the ghosts of his parents’ past.
Rick Gonzalez (Biker Boyz) plays Wilson Deleon Jr., a young man whose life is pretty carefree until situations cause him to question the things and people around him, namely his mother Millie (Wanda De Jesus of Blood Work) and the reasons why they have to move to a new town every few years. Reluctantly, she tells him bits and pieces about the father he never knew, outlining why they must flee their quiet home in suburban Connecticut. What Wilson doesn’t know is that his father pissed off the wrong person, and it cost him his life 21 years prior. Now, this person and his goons won’t rest until Wilson’s mother is dead. And so it begins, a shoot ‘em up ‘hood tale that is sure to entertain, if nothing else. The cast is entirely Latino, and I’ve heard that some in the community are rejecting the portrayal of Latinos as hot-tempered and violent. I’m not one to deny people their right to be offended, but I don’t think the movie casts Latinos in a negative light at all. It’s just a movie. Some characters were good, some were bad – it’s that simple. It’s a “hood” movie, so yes there are going to be some undesirable elements of the story, but in no way do I feel that is an indictment of Latin culture. If anything, the movie is about how a mother will stop at nothing to protect her children, and how sometimes we don’t realize our inner strength until we’re confronted with hard choices.
Illegal Tender was produced by director John Singleton (Four Brothers), and I’m not sure how large of a factor he played in making the movie, but if he's responsible for casting Gonzalez in his first starring role, he made a wise choice. His portrayal of Wilson as reluctant boy-becoming-man was authentic. Likewise, De Jesus’ performance as his tough-as-nails mother was perfect. She was a bad-ass, like a cross between the Bride from Kill Bill and June Cleaver. One minute she’s making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Wilson’s little brother, the next minute she’s got a burner in each hand, ready to peel back some caps. Although this movie won't be winning any awards for its screenplay, there was never a dull moment and it's worth checking out.
Rick Gonzalez (Biker Boyz) plays Wilson Deleon Jr., a young man whose life is pretty carefree until situations cause him to question the things and people around him, namely his mother Millie (Wanda De Jesus of Blood Work) and the reasons why they have to move to a new town every few years. Reluctantly, she tells him bits and pieces about the father he never knew, outlining why they must flee their quiet home in suburban Connecticut. What Wilson doesn’t know is that his father pissed off the wrong person, and it cost him his life 21 years prior. Now, this person and his goons won’t rest until Wilson’s mother is dead. And so it begins, a shoot ‘em up ‘hood tale that is sure to entertain, if nothing else. The cast is entirely Latino, and I’ve heard that some in the community are rejecting the portrayal of Latinos as hot-tempered and violent. I’m not one to deny people their right to be offended, but I don’t think the movie casts Latinos in a negative light at all. It’s just a movie. Some characters were good, some were bad – it’s that simple. It’s a “hood” movie, so yes there are going to be some undesirable elements of the story, but in no way do I feel that is an indictment of Latin culture. If anything, the movie is about how a mother will stop at nothing to protect her children, and how sometimes we don’t realize our inner strength until we’re confronted with hard choices.
Illegal Tender was produced by director John Singleton (Four Brothers), and I’m not sure how large of a factor he played in making the movie, but if he's responsible for casting Gonzalez in his first starring role, he made a wise choice. His portrayal of Wilson as reluctant boy-becoming-man was authentic. Likewise, De Jesus’ performance as his tough-as-nails mother was perfect. She was a bad-ass, like a cross between the Bride from Kill Bill and June Cleaver. One minute she’s making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Wilson’s little brother, the next minute she’s got a burner in each hand, ready to peel back some caps. Although this movie won't be winning any awards for its screenplay, there was never a dull moment and it's worth checking out.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Superbad
Superbad is the mildly anticipated teen romp from writer/actor Seth Rogen of The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. It follows a day in the life of two socially awkward best friends as they near the end of high school. A hallmark of any good, male-driven teen movie is the quest of its protagonist(s) to get laid, and Superbad is no exception. To say that Seth and Evan, along with their pal “McLovin” wouldn’t mind a little female attention would be the understatement of the century. Luck may be on the boys’ side, as they have been charged with the task of procuring alcohol for some girls they’ve been lusting after. The boys assume that if they can manage to get the alcohol in time for the big party, they’ll be a sure thing to score. The movie basically depicts the mishaps they experience in their quest to deliver the booze.
There was really no point in the aforementioned plot recitation, as movies like this don’t rely heavily on such devices. What the movie does rely on is dialogue, and lots of it. This movie is NOT for kids. The language is sexually explicit and the boys drop the F-bomb every other minute. Fine by me, but it is very noticeable. Superbad is not the cult classic that everyone wants it to be. It’s not smart like the oldie-but-goodie Risky Business, nor is it as funny as the original American Pie. It is a pretty funny movie, although teen boys wanting to lose their virginity is certainly not a new cinematic concept. My only complaints are that the last ten minutes were VERY homoerotic, and there was also one scene that was rather disgusting and gratuitous. There are some things that just don’t need to be shown on screen. Remember that scene in Borat when Borat and the fat hairy guy were in the 69 position? Sure it was funny, but it was more disgusting than anything else. Yep, the scene I’m thinking about is along those same lines, though not as bad. All in all Superbad was pretty darn funny, though I think it will end up being overrated.
There was really no point in the aforementioned plot recitation, as movies like this don’t rely heavily on such devices. What the movie does rely on is dialogue, and lots of it. This movie is NOT for kids. The language is sexually explicit and the boys drop the F-bomb every other minute. Fine by me, but it is very noticeable. Superbad is not the cult classic that everyone wants it to be. It’s not smart like the oldie-but-goodie Risky Business, nor is it as funny as the original American Pie. It is a pretty funny movie, although teen boys wanting to lose their virginity is certainly not a new cinematic concept. My only complaints are that the last ten minutes were VERY homoerotic, and there was also one scene that was rather disgusting and gratuitous. There are some things that just don’t need to be shown on screen. Remember that scene in Borat when Borat and the fat hairy guy were in the 69 position? Sure it was funny, but it was more disgusting than anything else. Yep, the scene I’m thinking about is along those same lines, though not as bad. All in all Superbad was pretty darn funny, though I think it will end up being overrated.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
The Bourne Ultimatum
Every chance I get to sing the praises of Matt Damon (most recently of Ocean's 13), I exercise the opportunity. Initially overshadowed by best buddy Ben Affleck upon his introduction to mainstream Hollywood, Damon has quietly gone about the business of churning out one stellar performance after another, from The Talented Mr. Ripley, to Rounders, to The Departed. Frequently overlooked in favor of flashier but equally talented co-stars (think about the Ocean's movies and DiCaprio in The Departed ), Damon is still a smidge underrated. Until his name is bandied about in Oscar contention (for his acting, I know he won an Oscar for his screenwriting), I will champion him as an underdog, strange as that might sound.
All of this background opinion brings me to his latest effort, The Bourne Ultimatum. Damon reprises the role of Jason Bourne, rogue covert spy with a spotty memory. Still trying to fill in the gaps of his past identity, Jason must track his former agency's higher-ups in a quest to glean info about his past. What I enjoyed about the movie from a plot perspective was that its writer(s) managed to put a new twist on the old idea. We already know from the first two movies (The Bourne Identity and Supremacy, respectively) that Jason discovers he is a trained operative, but this third piece of the trilogy examines how the answer to a riddle is another riddle in and of itself.
Frenetically paced and suspenseful, The Bourne Ultimatum was everything I knew it would be. Bourne is always one step ahead of his adversaries - impossible to kill because he's as adept at using his brain as he is his fists. The hand-to-hand combat scenes were brilliantly choreographed and realistically enacted, and Damon once again demonstrates his range in great fashion. A true action flick that doesn't rely on explosions or cheap thrills, The Bourne Ultimatum is easily the best film of its kind to be released this summer. Sorry Bruce Willis.
All of this background opinion brings me to his latest effort, The Bourne Ultimatum. Damon reprises the role of Jason Bourne, rogue covert spy with a spotty memory. Still trying to fill in the gaps of his past identity, Jason must track his former agency's higher-ups in a quest to glean info about his past. What I enjoyed about the movie from a plot perspective was that its writer(s) managed to put a new twist on the old idea. We already know from the first two movies (The Bourne Identity and Supremacy, respectively) that Jason discovers he is a trained operative, but this third piece of the trilogy examines how the answer to a riddle is another riddle in and of itself.
Frenetically paced and suspenseful, The Bourne Ultimatum was everything I knew it would be. Bourne is always one step ahead of his adversaries - impossible to kill because he's as adept at using his brain as he is his fists. The hand-to-hand combat scenes were brilliantly choreographed and realistically enacted, and Damon once again demonstrates his range in great fashion. A true action flick that doesn't rely on explosions or cheap thrills, The Bourne Ultimatum is easily the best film of its kind to be released this summer. Sorry Bruce Willis.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Transformers
Nostalgia: a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition.
When people look back on their childhood, they tend to forget the bad and elevate the mediocre to greatness. We do this in part because a child knows no better…their father is the strongest, their mother the prettiest. If we were to look back objectively, through the jaded eyes of adulthood, perhaps certain people and things would lose a bit of their luster. At the age of 28, I look back on the things I enjoyed in my childhood of the 1980’s. Michael Jackson was the MAN. Everyone had to have a Cabbage Patch. And the cartoons seemed to have been the best that they ever could have been. We didn’t have Pixar and Dreamworks movies like Shrek and Cars. We had REAL cartoons. I’m talking about Thundercats, Jem and the Holograms, G.I. Joe, and of course Transformers. Now most little girls didn’t get into Transformers, and I’m not gonna say that it was my favorite, but I remember it and I remember liking it. Who didn’t love Optimus Prime, the red and blue truck, the good guy?! Autobots vs. Decepticons, Good vs. Evil. It’s these memories that 80’s babies will recall with warm fondness when they flood theaters to behold the TREAT that is Transformers. I’m not saying that the under 20 crowd can’t appreciate it too, but there’s nothing like seeing the live action version of an old animated favorite. The audience around me was positively giddy when Optimus Prime made his first appearance.
I have to applaud director Michael Bay (The Island) for his vision and for remaining true to the cartoon. This movie was nothing short of amazing, I’m almost at a loss for words. The only flaw (which I didn’t even care about) was that little parts of the story and dialogue were a bit campy and silly. Who cares????? The overall plot was in keeping with the cartoon, and the acting and pacing were just fine. There weren’t too many explosions or needless bits of action. The whole movie was an adrenaline rush. The story centers around the transformers' search for a magical cube which will transform the Earth’s machines into, well…transformers. The Autobots are trying to get to the cube before the Decepticons and need the help of a teen named Sam (Shia Lebouf of Disturbia) to discover its location. I won’t tell you how or why his character is important, JUST GO SEE THE MOVIE!! No self-respecting adult between the ages of 26 and 32 can miss it.
When people look back on their childhood, they tend to forget the bad and elevate the mediocre to greatness. We do this in part because a child knows no better…their father is the strongest, their mother the prettiest. If we were to look back objectively, through the jaded eyes of adulthood, perhaps certain people and things would lose a bit of their luster. At the age of 28, I look back on the things I enjoyed in my childhood of the 1980’s. Michael Jackson was the MAN. Everyone had to have a Cabbage Patch. And the cartoons seemed to have been the best that they ever could have been. We didn’t have Pixar and Dreamworks movies like Shrek and Cars. We had REAL cartoons. I’m talking about Thundercats, Jem and the Holograms, G.I. Joe, and of course Transformers. Now most little girls didn’t get into Transformers, and I’m not gonna say that it was my favorite, but I remember it and I remember liking it. Who didn’t love Optimus Prime, the red and blue truck, the good guy?! Autobots vs. Decepticons, Good vs. Evil. It’s these memories that 80’s babies will recall with warm fondness when they flood theaters to behold the TREAT that is Transformers. I’m not saying that the under 20 crowd can’t appreciate it too, but there’s nothing like seeing the live action version of an old animated favorite. The audience around me was positively giddy when Optimus Prime made his first appearance.
I have to applaud director Michael Bay (The Island) for his vision and for remaining true to the cartoon. This movie was nothing short of amazing, I’m almost at a loss for words. The only flaw (which I didn’t even care about) was that little parts of the story and dialogue were a bit campy and silly. Who cares????? The overall plot was in keeping with the cartoon, and the acting and pacing were just fine. There weren’t too many explosions or needless bits of action. The whole movie was an adrenaline rush. The story centers around the transformers' search for a magical cube which will transform the Earth’s machines into, well…transformers. The Autobots are trying to get to the cube before the Decepticons and need the help of a teen named Sam (Shia Lebouf of Disturbia) to discover its location. I won’t tell you how or why his character is important, JUST GO SEE THE MOVIE!! No self-respecting adult between the ages of 26 and 32 can miss it.
Monday, July 02, 2007
1408
Based on a short story by Stephen King, 1408 provides chills in the summertime heat. John Cusack (Identity) stars as Mike Enslin, a writer popularly known for his exploration of "haunted" hotels. Mike's job is to patronize these hotels and compile a list of the most spooky. When he learns of fabled room 1408 in The Dolphin Hotel, he decides that a write-up of the room would be perfect for the next edition of his series.
When he arrives at The Dolphin, its manager (Samuel L. Jackson of Black Snake Moan) ardently attempts to dissuade him from checking in. There have been approximately 50 deaths in room 1408, both natural and unnatural. The room is only cleaned once a month by a team of maids, and the door remains open the entire time. Say word! That would've made me do an about-face, but this is the movies and John Cusack is a white boy (we know how they are oblivous to danger) so of course this only makes the room sound more appealing. Enslin checks into the room, which turns out to be a living hell. The series of misfortunes that befall him are alternatingly nightmarish and comically pitiful. 1408 won't keep you up at night, but it was pleasantly disturbing. Check it out.
When he arrives at The Dolphin, its manager (Samuel L. Jackson of Black Snake Moan) ardently attempts to dissuade him from checking in. There have been approximately 50 deaths in room 1408, both natural and unnatural. The room is only cleaned once a month by a team of maids, and the door remains open the entire time. Say word! That would've made me do an about-face, but this is the movies and John Cusack is a white boy (we know how they are oblivous to danger) so of course this only makes the room sound more appealing. Enslin checks into the room, which turns out to be a living hell. The series of misfortunes that befall him are alternatingly nightmarish and comically pitiful. 1408 won't keep you up at night, but it was pleasantly disturbing. Check it out.
Live Free or Die Hard
I was looking forward to Bruce Willis' (The Perfect Stranger) return as John McClane, our familiar reluctant hero. Bruce looks good for his age and seemed up to the task of reprising the role, but alas I was disappointed. I don't care how many critics enjoyed this movie...I did not. And let me tell you why.
The stunts, action, and at times the storyline were all ridiculous. Let me start at the beginning. John is given the task of transporting a suspected computer hacker named Matt Farrell from Jersey to D.C. Sounds simple enough, but we know that it won't be. Turns out that some terrorist/anarchists want Matt dead. Oh by the way, the character of Matt is portrayed by that dude who plays the "Mac" computer in those Mac vs. PC commercials. Weird. I couldn't divorce him from the commerical. Back to the plot: the same guys who are trying to off Matt are also unleashing a terror plot against the country whereby the nation's computers have been sabotaged. I'll spare you the intricate details, you can thank me later. Suffice it to say that there are plenty of action-packed moments, but everything seemed contrived and I couldn't help but compare the movie to its three predecessors. Live Free or Die Hard is easily the weakest of the four. Picture the following sequence of events: Bruce Willis leaps from a speeding police car, but manages to aim the abandoned cruiser perfectly so that it will crash directly into an airborne helicopter while the chopper's pilot jumps from the aircraft before impact and emerges unscathed. Yeah, exactly. I mentally checked-out at that point. Live Free lacked the pins-and-needles suspense of the original and the taut, harried vibe of the third installment, Die Hard With a Vengeance. Hell, even Die Hard 2 was better than this one. At least in that one you felt that McClane was compelled to action by his sense of duty and the circumstances in which he found himself. That motivation seems absent in Live Free.
There are other movies that have similar themes and elements to Live Free or Die Hard that were much better. For example, the idea of someone using technology to spy on your every move and manipulate you with computers and surveillance was tackled much better by a movie called Enemy of the State. I wanted to like this movie, I really did. I mean, I didn't hate it but that's not exactly a ringing endorsement. I'm sure it will do well because many people get all warm and nostalgic when thinking about the original Die Hard, but sometimes you can go to the well one time too many. Wait for it on HBO.
The stunts, action, and at times the storyline were all ridiculous. Let me start at the beginning. John is given the task of transporting a suspected computer hacker named Matt Farrell from Jersey to D.C. Sounds simple enough, but we know that it won't be. Turns out that some terrorist/anarchists want Matt dead. Oh by the way, the character of Matt is portrayed by that dude who plays the "Mac" computer in those Mac vs. PC commercials. Weird. I couldn't divorce him from the commerical. Back to the plot: the same guys who are trying to off Matt are also unleashing a terror plot against the country whereby the nation's computers have been sabotaged. I'll spare you the intricate details, you can thank me later. Suffice it to say that there are plenty of action-packed moments, but everything seemed contrived and I couldn't help but compare the movie to its three predecessors. Live Free or Die Hard is easily the weakest of the four. Picture the following sequence of events: Bruce Willis leaps from a speeding police car, but manages to aim the abandoned cruiser perfectly so that it will crash directly into an airborne helicopter while the chopper's pilot jumps from the aircraft before impact and emerges unscathed. Yeah, exactly. I mentally checked-out at that point. Live Free lacked the pins-and-needles suspense of the original and the taut, harried vibe of the third installment, Die Hard With a Vengeance. Hell, even Die Hard 2 was better than this one. At least in that one you felt that McClane was compelled to action by his sense of duty and the circumstances in which he found himself. That motivation seems absent in Live Free.
There are other movies that have similar themes and elements to Live Free or Die Hard that were much better. For example, the idea of someone using technology to spy on your every move and manipulate you with computers and surveillance was tackled much better by a movie called Enemy of the State. I wanted to like this movie, I really did. I mean, I didn't hate it but that's not exactly a ringing endorsement. I'm sure it will do well because many people get all warm and nostalgic when thinking about the original Die Hard, but sometimes you can go to the well one time too many. Wait for it on HBO.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
BET Awards
J-Hud and Jennifer Holliday: They killed it, of course. It's not a competition, but Jennifer Holliday shows that she's the originator. Did you see the faces she was making though? Yikes!!
Mo'Nique: I love Mo. She is hilarious! Those big girls were gettin' it too. I give it a 9.9...on the Richter scale.
Beyonce: She just won an award for Video of the Year. Look at her shape, that's a for real coke bottle! Do it girl, I'm not gonna hate. Yet.
TI: Big Thangs Poppin.' I don't like that song. But I like you Tip, even though you came out looking like the captain of the Love Boat.
Nick Cannon and the little homie from High School Musical: *Yawn* Nick Cannon ought to start endorsing popcorn.
Ne-Yo: Michael Jackson called, he wants his DNA back. Now he's doing "Make Me Better," and my boy Fab is stuntin' HARD, he has on gold kicks!
Best Actor award: Stiff competition but Forrest Whitaker wins for The Last King of Scotland. Can't be mad at that, the role netted him an Oscar for cryin' out loud.
Diddy and Keyshia Cole: I like that blue leather Diddy has on. KC aka Mary J. Blige Jr. looks good too. Everybody loves this song, don't front! Uh look at Lil Kim! Diddy is a clown, I love him though. Is Lil Kim singing??? Good performance, it built to a nice little crescendo at the end.
Chris Brown and Rihanna: They look cute. Chris plugs his album, which doesn't come out till AUGUST. No boo, that is too far away, let it ride. They're presenting the award for Best Actress, which goes to J-Hud. She's wearing a bedspread. Girl get a stylist!
Beyonce performs: Wow...she emerges from a metallic cocoon on some Mad Max shit. She knows she has to raise the bar everytime she does the BET Awards. So far it doesn't look like she'll surpass last year, but good job so far. Let's hope there aren't any wardrobe malfunctions. She sounds great, cuz she's dancing her ass off and isn't out of breath.
Kelly Rowland: okay, Beyonce segues to Kelly, who sounds lousy and looks like the result of an unholy union between Rainbow Brite and Wonder Woman. Now here comes Eve with another underwhelming rap performance. You know what though, BET always brings the dopest performances, and this was entertaining if nothing else.
TI wins some award: TI is that dude, sexy lil' anorexic thing. I give him credit for making a veiled apology for going upside the head of Ludacris' manager earlier in the week. Now that's gangsta: a man who can admit his faults while not humbling himself. Big thangs poppin' indeed.
Robin Thicke: Looking good and sounding good. This man makes love to my eardrums. He's performing "Lost Without You," but it has a sped-up Latin twist. Hmm...I guess that's okay. Why are you dancing Robin??? That was corny, don't do that again.
Now comes the dirty south portion of the program: T-Pain and Young Joc. T-Pain disgusts me. The camera just panned to Diana Ross doing a weird shimmy. Now Floyd Mayweather. I love you Floyd, you sexy thang you!
Tribute to Gerald Levert: Patti speaks, then performances by his daddy Eddie, Gladys Night, Yolanda Adams and Patti. Stirring performances with a visibly moved audience. R.I.P. Gerald!
50 Cent: Come on Fif, why you gotta cuss and test the censors? Not necessary. You're washed up playboy, just stick to movies and Vitamin Water. He disgusts me too. Go sit in the corner with T-Pain.
D-d-d-damn: Reggie Bush AND Floyd Mayweather? You. Just. Don't. Know.
Tribute to Diana Ross (the ORIGINAL diva!): I'm not gonna front, Diana is a legend, she deserves such a tribute. Alicia Keys gave a glorious homage. Badu performs "Love Hangover" with a crazy ass fro. Do it girl wit yo crazy ass. Your outfit is showing me parts of you I never wanted to see though. Thanks. Up next : Chaka Khan, a legend herself. Stevie Wonder too, hell yeah! She's lovin it, as she should, what an honor. Her kids present her with the award, how sweet! She closes with a word to the younger crowd that you can be classy ladies and gents and still have a long career. Nice Diana, but the world's a different place now and I think your words fell on deaf ears. Nice sentiment though.
Don Cheadle wins Humanitarian of the Year Award: What a humble, intelligent, endearing brother. He is a gem. I can't remember the last time I've heard such a sincere and thoughtful acceptance speech.
Jennifer Hudson wins Best New Artist: Sit down bitch I'm tired. You're great, but you are not the best new artist...isn't this award for musical artists??? Why is she winning an award, what music has she put out????
Awww Ciara, you disappointed me girl, I was lookin' for you to kill it! You did too much booty-poppin' and not enough dancing :-( The matrix shit is dope though, do you have a spine??? This girl is like Gumby.
Tribute to The Godfather of Soul: PE does a good job with a fitting introduction from Al Sharpton. R.I.P. JB. We needed a dancing tribute to him though, with Usher and Chris Brown. That woulda been hot. I swear whenever I hear Fight the Power I wanna burn some shit down. Revolution!
All in all a good show and a nice affair, but nothing to really make me say "did you see that?"
Mo'Nique: I love Mo. She is hilarious! Those big girls were gettin' it too. I give it a 9.9...on the Richter scale.
Beyonce: She just won an award for Video of the Year. Look at her shape, that's a for real coke bottle! Do it girl, I'm not gonna hate. Yet.
TI: Big Thangs Poppin.' I don't like that song. But I like you Tip, even though you came out looking like the captain of the Love Boat.
Nick Cannon and the little homie from High School Musical: *Yawn* Nick Cannon ought to start endorsing popcorn.
Ne-Yo: Michael Jackson called, he wants his DNA back. Now he's doing "Make Me Better," and my boy Fab is stuntin' HARD, he has on gold kicks!
Best Actor award: Stiff competition but Forrest Whitaker wins for The Last King of Scotland. Can't be mad at that, the role netted him an Oscar for cryin' out loud.
Diddy and Keyshia Cole: I like that blue leather Diddy has on. KC aka Mary J. Blige Jr. looks good too. Everybody loves this song, don't front! Uh look at Lil Kim! Diddy is a clown, I love him though. Is Lil Kim singing??? Good performance, it built to a nice little crescendo at the end.
Chris Brown and Rihanna: They look cute. Chris plugs his album, which doesn't come out till AUGUST. No boo, that is too far away, let it ride. They're presenting the award for Best Actress, which goes to J-Hud. She's wearing a bedspread. Girl get a stylist!
Beyonce performs: Wow...she emerges from a metallic cocoon on some Mad Max shit. She knows she has to raise the bar everytime she does the BET Awards. So far it doesn't look like she'll surpass last year, but good job so far. Let's hope there aren't any wardrobe malfunctions. She sounds great, cuz she's dancing her ass off and isn't out of breath.
Kelly Rowland: okay, Beyonce segues to Kelly, who sounds lousy and looks like the result of an unholy union between Rainbow Brite and Wonder Woman. Now here comes Eve with another underwhelming rap performance. You know what though, BET always brings the dopest performances, and this was entertaining if nothing else.
TI wins some award: TI is that dude, sexy lil' anorexic thing. I give him credit for making a veiled apology for going upside the head of Ludacris' manager earlier in the week. Now that's gangsta: a man who can admit his faults while not humbling himself. Big thangs poppin' indeed.
Robin Thicke: Looking good and sounding good. This man makes love to my eardrums. He's performing "Lost Without You," but it has a sped-up Latin twist. Hmm...I guess that's okay. Why are you dancing Robin??? That was corny, don't do that again.
Now comes the dirty south portion of the program: T-Pain and Young Joc. T-Pain disgusts me. The camera just panned to Diana Ross doing a weird shimmy. Now Floyd Mayweather. I love you Floyd, you sexy thang you!
Tribute to Gerald Levert: Patti speaks, then performances by his daddy Eddie, Gladys Night, Yolanda Adams and Patti. Stirring performances with a visibly moved audience. R.I.P. Gerald!
50 Cent: Come on Fif, why you gotta cuss and test the censors? Not necessary. You're washed up playboy, just stick to movies and Vitamin Water. He disgusts me too. Go sit in the corner with T-Pain.
D-d-d-damn: Reggie Bush AND Floyd Mayweather? You. Just. Don't. Know.
Tribute to Diana Ross (the ORIGINAL diva!): I'm not gonna front, Diana is a legend, she deserves such a tribute. Alicia Keys gave a glorious homage. Badu performs "Love Hangover" with a crazy ass fro. Do it girl wit yo crazy ass. Your outfit is showing me parts of you I never wanted to see though. Thanks. Up next : Chaka Khan, a legend herself. Stevie Wonder too, hell yeah! She's lovin it, as she should, what an honor. Her kids present her with the award, how sweet! She closes with a word to the younger crowd that you can be classy ladies and gents and still have a long career. Nice Diana, but the world's a different place now and I think your words fell on deaf ears. Nice sentiment though.
Don Cheadle wins Humanitarian of the Year Award: What a humble, intelligent, endearing brother. He is a gem. I can't remember the last time I've heard such a sincere and thoughtful acceptance speech.
Jennifer Hudson wins Best New Artist: Sit down bitch I'm tired. You're great, but you are not the best new artist...isn't this award for musical artists??? Why is she winning an award, what music has she put out????
Awww Ciara, you disappointed me girl, I was lookin' for you to kill it! You did too much booty-poppin' and not enough dancing :-( The matrix shit is dope though, do you have a spine??? This girl is like Gumby.
Tribute to The Godfather of Soul: PE does a good job with a fitting introduction from Al Sharpton. R.I.P. JB. We needed a dancing tribute to him though, with Usher and Chris Brown. That woulda been hot. I swear whenever I hear Fight the Power I wanna burn some shit down. Revolution!
All in all a good show and a nice affair, but nothing to really make me say "did you see that?"
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Ocean's Thirteen
Some things in this life are reliable summertime favorites: a cool glass of lemonade, a Jay-Z album (Jigga held you down for 6 summers, don't forget) and an Ocean's movie. With that being said, of course Ocean's Thirteen was enjoyable. The first one was clever, the sequel was a little too cute for its own good, and the third one brings it back to something nice and simple: revenge.
The gang's all here, with the addition of Ellen Barkin (She Hate Me) and the living legend that is Al Pacino (most recently of Two For the Money). Pacino is Willie Bank, a ruthless hotel and casino owner. Bank is opening a new hotel with the help of Reuben, one of the old cats in Danny Ocean's crew. The problem arises when Bank double-crosses Reuben in a particularly nasty, cold-hearted way. Angered at the betrayal of their friend and mentor, the gang plots revenge against Bank. They have concocted a plan to bankrupt his casino. The overall scheme is spectacular, but each facet of the caper seems plausible in it's own way - plus a little luck never hurt either.
The best thing about the movie is its ensemble cast, a hodgepodge of A-listers like Damon (The Good Shepherd), Clooney (Syriana) and Pitt (Babel), and some good old fashion thespians like Don Cheadle (Crash) and Andy Garcia. Moreover, any chance to see Pacino is usually a treat in and of itself. He relishes the role of Bank, and you can tell that everyone genuinely had fun making the movie. Director Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Erin Brockovich) shoots the actors in the most glamorous, flattering fashion, especially the male leads. I don't think George Clooney has looked more handsome. Who am I kidding, he's almost always handsome. Pitt too, I think age is agreeing with him. The man has a nice lil' swagger on him, no doubt. Like it's predecessors, Ocean's Thirteen is slick and stylish and whole lot of fun. If you liked the first one you certainly won't be disappointed.
The gang's all here, with the addition of Ellen Barkin (She Hate Me) and the living legend that is Al Pacino (most recently of Two For the Money). Pacino is Willie Bank, a ruthless hotel and casino owner. Bank is opening a new hotel with the help of Reuben, one of the old cats in Danny Ocean's crew. The problem arises when Bank double-crosses Reuben in a particularly nasty, cold-hearted way. Angered at the betrayal of their friend and mentor, the gang plots revenge against Bank. They have concocted a plan to bankrupt his casino. The overall scheme is spectacular, but each facet of the caper seems plausible in it's own way - plus a little luck never hurt either.
The best thing about the movie is its ensemble cast, a hodgepodge of A-listers like Damon (The Good Shepherd), Clooney (Syriana) and Pitt (Babel), and some good old fashion thespians like Don Cheadle (Crash) and Andy Garcia. Moreover, any chance to see Pacino is usually a treat in and of itself. He relishes the role of Bank, and you can tell that everyone genuinely had fun making the movie. Director Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Erin Brockovich) shoots the actors in the most glamorous, flattering fashion, especially the male leads. I don't think George Clooney has looked more handsome. Who am I kidding, he's almost always handsome. Pitt too, I think age is agreeing with him. The man has a nice lil' swagger on him, no doubt. Like it's predecessors, Ocean's Thirteen is slick and stylish and whole lot of fun. If you liked the first one you certainly won't be disappointed.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Mr. Brooks
Wow. Now this is what I’m talking about, this is how you do a psychological thriller. Mr. Brooks embodied all the best of the genre: suspense, a demented and brilliant villain, sexual undertones and more than a few twists and turns.
Kevin Costner (The Upside of Anger) is Earl Brooks, a wealthy entrepreneur and socialite. He has a lovely wife, Emma (Marg Helgenberger of CSI) and a daughter in college. He seems normal enough, but it’s established very early that the man is one fry short of a Happy Meal. He has an alter-ego/split personality/imaginary friend named Marshall, played by the wonderful William Hurt (A History of Violence). As Mr. Brooks and his wife drive home after a gala, he and Marshall exchange testy banter about whether or not Brooks should resume his serial killer ways. He’s taken a two year hiatus from murdering innocents, and Marshall is ready to get back in the fray. It doesn’t take much convincing, and soon Brooks is at it again, murdering in chilling, calculating fashion. I don’t want to give too much away, but you can tell from the commercials and Costner’s recent TV appearances that his character is the psychopath- I haven’t spoiled anything by revealing that little nugget. Rounding out the major players are comedian Dane Cook (Employee of the Month) and Demi Moore (Bobby) as a detective tracking Brooks. Both are fantastic in their respective roles, especially Cook. He brought an unnerving intensity to his character, and Moore was convincing as a smart, tough-as-nails cop.
Mr. Brooks is nearly flawless, faltering only briefly with a side story pertaining to Demi Moore’s character. Kevin Costner portrayed Brooks effortlessly as a man who kills in cold blood then goes home to make love to his wife. The movie is captivating from start to finish, and blends in subplots almost to perfection. The subplots are never given too much attention, and everything always comes back to the title character. It’s like someone dusted off two of the biggest stars of the 90’s (Costner and Moore) for a renaissance or something. Mr. Brooks is the best of the summer movie season so far, and a definite must-see.
Kevin Costner (The Upside of Anger) is Earl Brooks, a wealthy entrepreneur and socialite. He has a lovely wife, Emma (Marg Helgenberger of CSI) and a daughter in college. He seems normal enough, but it’s established very early that the man is one fry short of a Happy Meal. He has an alter-ego/split personality/imaginary friend named Marshall, played by the wonderful William Hurt (A History of Violence). As Mr. Brooks and his wife drive home after a gala, he and Marshall exchange testy banter about whether or not Brooks should resume his serial killer ways. He’s taken a two year hiatus from murdering innocents, and Marshall is ready to get back in the fray. It doesn’t take much convincing, and soon Brooks is at it again, murdering in chilling, calculating fashion. I don’t want to give too much away, but you can tell from the commercials and Costner’s recent TV appearances that his character is the psychopath- I haven’t spoiled anything by revealing that little nugget. Rounding out the major players are comedian Dane Cook (Employee of the Month) and Demi Moore (Bobby) as a detective tracking Brooks. Both are fantastic in their respective roles, especially Cook. He brought an unnerving intensity to his character, and Moore was convincing as a smart, tough-as-nails cop.
Mr. Brooks is nearly flawless, faltering only briefly with a side story pertaining to Demi Moore’s character. Kevin Costner portrayed Brooks effortlessly as a man who kills in cold blood then goes home to make love to his wife. The movie is captivating from start to finish, and blends in subplots almost to perfection. The subplots are never given too much attention, and everything always comes back to the title character. It’s like someone dusted off two of the biggest stars of the 90’s (Costner and Moore) for a renaissance or something. Mr. Brooks is the best of the summer movie season so far, and a definite must-see.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Georgia Rule
This is not my cup of tea, but I went to see it anyway. Call it the best of what’s left. Actually, Georgia Rule wasn’t too bad. It features Felicity Huffman (Transamerica), Lindsay Lohan (Bobby), and Jane Fonda (Monster-in-Law) as three generations of dysfunctional women. Lohan’s dysfunction is the most pressing, as her mother decides that she needs to spend the summer before college with her grandmother Georgia in Idaho.
Lohan is Rachel, a wild child from San Francisco with a smart mouth and promiscuous front. We watch as she flirts with anything that moves and mouths off to her mother and grandmother. As the story progresses, we realize that her misbehavior is the result of very unfortunate circumstances that were beyond her control, and that all Rachel needs is some love and attention. How cute. In all seriousness, this movie probably falls under the label of “heartwarming,” and may not be the way most people would like to spend a day at the movies, but it was well-acted, even by Ms. Lohan. I know that she’s almost as overexposed as Paris Hilton, but I’ve seen her in a few movies and I don’t have any criticism. She’s not bad. Too bad that life seems to imitate art when it comes to her personal life. In the end, Rachel mends the family ties that bind and gets on the right track. I won’t suggest you spend $$ on this one, but catch it on a Sunday afternoon on HBO.
Lohan is Rachel, a wild child from San Francisco with a smart mouth and promiscuous front. We watch as she flirts with anything that moves and mouths off to her mother and grandmother. As the story progresses, we realize that her misbehavior is the result of very unfortunate circumstances that were beyond her control, and that all Rachel needs is some love and attention. How cute. In all seriousness, this movie probably falls under the label of “heartwarming,” and may not be the way most people would like to spend a day at the movies, but it was well-acted, even by Ms. Lohan. I know that she’s almost as overexposed as Paris Hilton, but I’ve seen her in a few movies and I don’t have any criticism. She’s not bad. Too bad that life seems to imitate art when it comes to her personal life. In the end, Rachel mends the family ties that bind and gets on the right track. I won’t suggest you spend $$ on this one, but catch it on a Sunday afternoon on HBO.
Fracture
Anthony Hopkins (The Silence of the Lambs) and Ryan Gosling (The Notebook) star in the first marginally noteworthy psychological thriller of the year, Fracture. I’m ignoring Halle Berry’s The Perfect Stranger which was released a few months ago, because it looked too contrived for me to even bother with it. Hopkins plays Ted Crawford, a wealthy businessman with a philandering young wife, while Gosling is Willie Beachum, a young, cocky district attorney faced with the task of prosecuting Crawford after he’s accused of his wife’s attempted murder.
Hopkins brings his trademark deliberate, methodical psychosis to the role, although his performance is tempered with cool and a certain suaveness that Hannibal Lecter lacked. His Ted Crawford isn’t a raving lunatic; after all, how many cheating spouses have met a similar fate, both real and imagined? Nevertheless, Beachum and Mrs. Crawford’s lover, a police detective, embark on a crusade to see that justice finds Crawford, who seems to be one step ahead of them. Gosling shines in his role as a prosecutor with one foot out the door. His Beachum has already accepted a loftier position with a big law firm when Crawford’s case is dropped on his desk. It is his lackadaisical attitude combined with Crawford’s smug assuredness that set the stage for this battle of wits, a chess match between two towering egos. Will the senior outfox the young upstart? I won’t give it away.
Fracture made for a passable day at the movies, but what I’m really looking forward to is Mr. Brooks, which opens this week. Please someone revive the psychological thriller, I’m begging you!
Hopkins brings his trademark deliberate, methodical psychosis to the role, although his performance is tempered with cool and a certain suaveness that Hannibal Lecter lacked. His Ted Crawford isn’t a raving lunatic; after all, how many cheating spouses have met a similar fate, both real and imagined? Nevertheless, Beachum and Mrs. Crawford’s lover, a police detective, embark on a crusade to see that justice finds Crawford, who seems to be one step ahead of them. Gosling shines in his role as a prosecutor with one foot out the door. His Beachum has already accepted a loftier position with a big law firm when Crawford’s case is dropped on his desk. It is his lackadaisical attitude combined with Crawford’s smug assuredness that set the stage for this battle of wits, a chess match between two towering egos. Will the senior outfox the young upstart? I won’t give it away.
Fracture made for a passable day at the movies, but what I’m really looking forward to is Mr. Brooks, which opens this week. Please someone revive the psychological thriller, I’m begging you!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Spiderman 3
One word: lame. Spiderman 3 was a huge disappointment. As a matter of fact, when was the last time “part 3” of any movie franchise was good? Seriously…maybe Die Hard 3, that’s the only thing that comes to mind.
Tobey Maguire returns as Peter Parker, as do James Franco (Tristan and Isolde) and Kristen Dunst (Elizabethtown) as Harry and Mary Jane. I know the franchise has a built-in fanbase, and that’s probably why it managed to rake in ridiculous opening numbers. I suspect that there has to have been a significant drop-off when you look at the second week numbers as word of mouth got around. The movie is contrived, sappy, corny, and poorly written. The action is also less entertaining this time around. Spiderman 3 was marketed as an exploration into Spidey’s darker side. We get a hint of darkness, but it’s never really anything too sinister. Peter’s idea of being a bad-ass is demanding that his neighbor bake him some chocolate chip cookies. Gimme a break! I’ll admit there’s one scene where Peter’s evil side shines through in great fashion (no spoiler), but that’s about it. Mary Jane is more annoying than ever, and the villains are not believable, especially Topher Grace (In Good Company) as some weird bizarro Spiderman-looking creature. Not since Christopher Reeve has a superhero been this corny. The only interesting performance was given by James Franco; I think he’s hot and a damn good actor. Please Sam Raimi, do not make Spiderman 4!!
Tobey Maguire returns as Peter Parker, as do James Franco (Tristan and Isolde) and Kristen Dunst (Elizabethtown) as Harry and Mary Jane. I know the franchise has a built-in fanbase, and that’s probably why it managed to rake in ridiculous opening numbers. I suspect that there has to have been a significant drop-off when you look at the second week numbers as word of mouth got around. The movie is contrived, sappy, corny, and poorly written. The action is also less entertaining this time around. Spiderman 3 was marketed as an exploration into Spidey’s darker side. We get a hint of darkness, but it’s never really anything too sinister. Peter’s idea of being a bad-ass is demanding that his neighbor bake him some chocolate chip cookies. Gimme a break! I’ll admit there’s one scene where Peter’s evil side shines through in great fashion (no spoiler), but that’s about it. Mary Jane is more annoying than ever, and the villains are not believable, especially Topher Grace (In Good Company) as some weird bizarro Spiderman-looking creature. Not since Christopher Reeve has a superhero been this corny. The only interesting performance was given by James Franco; I think he’s hot and a damn good actor. Please Sam Raimi, do not make Spiderman 4!!
The Invisible
*Sigh* The Invisible seemed like it would be an interesting and spooky supernatural whodunit, but it played out like a morbid soap opera instead. It tells the story of Nick Powell, a smart, well-liked high school student with a bright future. Nick has a rocky relationship with his mother, but he’s on top of the world: high school is over and he’s about to head to Europe to perfect his prose. There’s a hint that things might go awry when Nick clashes with the school outcast in the cafeteria, a social misfit named Annie. Let’s just say that little Nicky ends up at the bottom of a sewage drain in the woods, somewhere between life and death. The movie follows Nick’s “pseudo-ghost” as he tries to convince Annie to save his life. Sound weird? Yeah, it’s a little bizarre and kind of a downer. The Invisible is definitely NOT a feel-good movie. I was disappointed because there was no suspense or mystery. The conflict is established fairly early, and the remainder of the movie tediously meanders toward its conclusion. The performances are good enough, with the exception of Marcia Gay Harden (Mystic River) as Nick’s mom. His mom is supposed to be detached and out-of-it, but it just comes across as if Harden can’t act. We know that’s not true, so maybe the director should have tried to get something different out of her, I don’t know. What I do know is that The Invisible was kind of a drag, skip it.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Grindhouse
I don’t even know where to start. When describing movies I often say, “It’s not for everybody.” Well when it comes to Grindhouse truer words cannot be spoken. To their credit, directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino don’t hide the ball. They let you know upfront what you’re in for: sex, violence and gore. Thank you sir, may I have another? The title refers to the popular cinema houses of the 70s that specialized in double features of the “B-movie” variety. The theaters also doubled as “go-go” bars, putting the “grind” in “grindhouse.”
Tarantino has a way of paying homage to the vestiges of his youth, whether it be pin-up girls (i.e. Pam Grier, that’s why he cast her in Jackie Brown), spaghetti westerns (think Kill Bill), or these dirty little grindhouses I just described. I applaud Rodriguez and Tarantino for their creativity. They previously teamed up for Sin City, and I think they work pretty well together – although each director is responsible for his own work in Grindhouse. The movie is a double feature, and Rodriguez is first up with “Planet Terror,” followed by Tarantino’s “Death Proof.” Since both movies are inspired by the B-movie genre, each director gets to eschew any plot constraints and focus on the salacious and tawdry. Bullets and blood abound, particularly in “Planet Terror.” The gore is gratuitous, the campy dialogue at an all-time high. What makes it great is that it’s supposed to be that way. Either you get it or you don’t. Complete with phony previews and “missing reels” that leave HUGE plot holes, Grindhouse aims to make your movie-going experience an authentic one. “Planet Terror” features Rose McGowan (Jawbreakers) as a one-legged go-go dancer. She and her boyfriend, played by Freddy Rodriguez (Dead Presidents) must dispatch their town of brain-eating zombies. That’s pretty much all I can say about the “plot.” Everything else that transpires can best be described as sensory assault.
Now it’s Tarantino’s turn. “Death Proof” is less gory than “Planet Terror,” and actually has a little character development, if you could call it that. It features Rosario Dawson (Sin City), Sydney Poitier (it’s his daughter, not him!), and Kurt Russell (Dark Blue), most notably. Russell is “Stuntman Mike,” a psychopath who preys on women with his car. We follow two groups of girlfriends as they are stalked and terrorized. What I liked most about “Death Proof” was its voyeuristic quality. You really feel like you’re watching a group of friends with a hidden camera. It’s very dialogue-driven and realistic, which is both good and bad. It’s good that it feels genuine, but it’s bad when the dialogue turns tedious and uninteresting. You have to care about these girls’ conversations and interaction, and I could see some people shifting in their theater seats, waiting for the “action.”
I could go on and on about Grindhouse, but I’ll stop there. This is not the kind of movie that comes along every day. It is remarkably unique – never taking itself seriously in its storytelling, but maintaining the artistic integrity of its premise. Sometimes when a movie is a parody or spoof, you’ll find that the writer/director takes the lazy road because the movie is “supposed” to be bad or silly. That wasn’t the case with Rodriguez and Tarantino. They’ve managed to create a hilarious, edgy, over-the-top spectacle that will stun anyone with the guts to see it. I thought it was great.
Tarantino has a way of paying homage to the vestiges of his youth, whether it be pin-up girls (i.e. Pam Grier, that’s why he cast her in Jackie Brown), spaghetti westerns (think Kill Bill), or these dirty little grindhouses I just described. I applaud Rodriguez and Tarantino for their creativity. They previously teamed up for Sin City, and I think they work pretty well together – although each director is responsible for his own work in Grindhouse. The movie is a double feature, and Rodriguez is first up with “Planet Terror,” followed by Tarantino’s “Death Proof.” Since both movies are inspired by the B-movie genre, each director gets to eschew any plot constraints and focus on the salacious and tawdry. Bullets and blood abound, particularly in “Planet Terror.” The gore is gratuitous, the campy dialogue at an all-time high. What makes it great is that it’s supposed to be that way. Either you get it or you don’t. Complete with phony previews and “missing reels” that leave HUGE plot holes, Grindhouse aims to make your movie-going experience an authentic one. “Planet Terror” features Rose McGowan (Jawbreakers) as a one-legged go-go dancer. She and her boyfriend, played by Freddy Rodriguez (Dead Presidents) must dispatch their town of brain-eating zombies. That’s pretty much all I can say about the “plot.” Everything else that transpires can best be described as sensory assault.
Now it’s Tarantino’s turn. “Death Proof” is less gory than “Planet Terror,” and actually has a little character development, if you could call it that. It features Rosario Dawson (Sin City), Sydney Poitier (it’s his daughter, not him!), and Kurt Russell (Dark Blue), most notably. Russell is “Stuntman Mike,” a psychopath who preys on women with his car. We follow two groups of girlfriends as they are stalked and terrorized. What I liked most about “Death Proof” was its voyeuristic quality. You really feel like you’re watching a group of friends with a hidden camera. It’s very dialogue-driven and realistic, which is both good and bad. It’s good that it feels genuine, but it’s bad when the dialogue turns tedious and uninteresting. You have to care about these girls’ conversations and interaction, and I could see some people shifting in their theater seats, waiting for the “action.”
I could go on and on about Grindhouse, but I’ll stop there. This is not the kind of movie that comes along every day. It is remarkably unique – never taking itself seriously in its storytelling, but maintaining the artistic integrity of its premise. Sometimes when a movie is a parody or spoof, you’ll find that the writer/director takes the lazy road because the movie is “supposed” to be bad or silly. That wasn’t the case with Rodriguez and Tarantino. They’ve managed to create a hilarious, edgy, over-the-top spectacle that will stun anyone with the guts to see it. I thought it was great.
Blades of Glory
Save your money. Talk about false advertising. Blades of Glory looks hilarious. It’s not. It’s mildly amusing at best. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed less at a comedy. Once you get past the initial chuckle-inducing concept of a male figure-skating pair, the movie is left with nothing. It was ridiculous, but in an eye-rolling way, not in a funny way. Yes Will Ferrell (Anchorman) is funny. He’s always funny. The problem is that he wasn’t enough to carry the movie, and the script was mediocre. It was just corny and stupid. Comedy is not my favorite genre, and I choose them wisely when I go to the theater. I expected laughs on the level of The Wedding Crashers or The 40-year Old Virgin. Blades of Glory can’t even be mentioned in the same sentence as those two. You know when they suck I like to keept it short. I have nothing else to say.
Shooter
Everyone’s second favorite bad-ass is back at it again. Mark Wahlberg (The Departed) stars as Bob Lee Swagger (ridiculous name), a disenchanted, reclusive marine. Devastated by the death of his fellow soldier in a botched mission and the military’s subsequent abandonment of him, Swagger begins to question his ingrained sense of patriotism. An expert sniper, he is approached by a Colonel Johnson (Danny Glover, most recently of Dreamgirls) and asked to help prevent an assassination on the president. Johnson and his men know that Swagger is an expert marksman, and they need his help in getting into the mind of the potential assassin. He reluctantly agrees, and begins gathering information on the manner in which an assassin would strike. Armed with this advice, Johnson and his cronies attempt to take out the president and frame Swagger for the hit.
Director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) maintains a high level of action throughout, and Mark Wahlberg is completely convincing in his role. He’s good at shit like this. Of course the whole I’ve-been-framed-and-now-I-have-to-clear-my-name-before-I-get-killed-or-arrested thing has been done plenty of times before, but Shooter is good enough. Wahlberg’s screen presence alone makes it worth seeing – he’s rarely disappointing. Check it out.
Director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) maintains a high level of action throughout, and Mark Wahlberg is completely convincing in his role. He’s good at shit like this. Of course the whole I’ve-been-framed-and-now-I-have-to-clear-my-name-before-I-get-killed-or-arrested thing has been done plenty of times before, but Shooter is good enough. Wahlberg’s screen presence alone makes it worth seeing – he’s rarely disappointing. Check it out.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Premonition
I wish I would've had a premonition that this movie would suck donkey balls. Then maybe I would not have wasted my time with it.
Premonition stars Sandra Bullock (Crash) and Julian McMahon (Fantastic Four, Nip/Tuck) as Jim and Linda Hanson, a married couple with two daughters. Soon after we meet the family, Linda is informed that Jim has been killed in an auto accident. The rest of the movie plays like a morbid version of Groundhog Day. One day Linda wakes up and Jim's dead, the next day he's alive. She tries to glean clues about what happend, and each day that passes reveals a new little wrinkle. Sound provocative? It's not; it's bullshit. Linda pays a visit to a priest, and he gives her some cryptic spiel about premonitions, reciting a history lesson of other quackpots who've seen the future. The problem is that it's never revealed why Linda had the premonition. It's not to change the future or to right some wrong...the whole thing is just pointless. I do think that the basic premise of the movie is interesting, and I like movies that deal with fate, spirituality, and destiny - but this was just LOUSY. I would suggest Frequency in lieu of Premonition. Even last year's Deja Vu was better than this.
Premonition stars Sandra Bullock (Crash) and Julian McMahon (Fantastic Four, Nip/Tuck) as Jim and Linda Hanson, a married couple with two daughters. Soon after we meet the family, Linda is informed that Jim has been killed in an auto accident. The rest of the movie plays like a morbid version of Groundhog Day. One day Linda wakes up and Jim's dead, the next day he's alive. She tries to glean clues about what happend, and each day that passes reveals a new little wrinkle. Sound provocative? It's not; it's bullshit. Linda pays a visit to a priest, and he gives her some cryptic spiel about premonitions, reciting a history lesson of other quackpots who've seen the future. The problem is that it's never revealed why Linda had the premonition. It's not to change the future or to right some wrong...the whole thing is just pointless. I do think that the basic premise of the movie is interesting, and I like movies that deal with fate, spirituality, and destiny - but this was just LOUSY. I would suggest Frequency in lieu of Premonition. Even last year's Deja Vu was better than this.
I Think I Love My Wife
This is Chris Rock's latest directorial effort, a take-off of his popular stand-up routine where he laments married life. To quote Rock, you can either be "single and lonely or married and bored."
The movie follows Rock's character Richard Cooper, a successful investment banker with a lovely wife and two adorable kids. Richard's wife is a good one, but he finds himself bored with the mundane aspects of married life. His wife wears "granny panties," and the sex is virtually nonexistent. Enter Nikki Tru, played by Kerry Washinton (Ray, She Hate Me), the ex-girlfriend of one of Richard's old friends. It seems Nikki needs an employment reference and decides to pay Richard an unannounced visit for a letter of recommendation. It's obvious from the start that Nikki is nothing but trouble. She's everything that Richard's wife Brenda (Gina Torres of Alias) is not: sexy and adventurous. She has him p-whipped without even giving him the "p." The movie follows Richard's efforts to remain on the straight and narrow in the face of temptation. In his heart Richard is a good man; he just needs to spice up his marriage. He ultimately realizes what's most important in life and manages to get his priorities in order. This is only after Nikki gets him completely discombobulated. Is that a word? I've always wondered if that was really a word. What's the opposite. Is it combobulated? What does that mean?
I Think I love My Wife is humourous at best and mildly entertaining at worst. It has an indie feel, which is kind of a good thing. It falters at points, and certain parts of the story don't make sense. One scene in particular seems like it should have been part of a dream sequence, but Richard reacts as if it takes place in reality. And another thing, are we supposed to believe that Kerry Washington is hot for Chris Rock??? I mean, come on. I love Chris Rock as much as the next person -- the man is a comedic genius; but he's one step from Pookie in New Jack City. His lips looked so cracked at one point I was like "damn!" But hey, that's why they call it the movies, right? Because you get to see some shit that would never happen in real life.
The movie follows Rock's character Richard Cooper, a successful investment banker with a lovely wife and two adorable kids. Richard's wife is a good one, but he finds himself bored with the mundane aspects of married life. His wife wears "granny panties," and the sex is virtually nonexistent. Enter Nikki Tru, played by Kerry Washinton (Ray, She Hate Me), the ex-girlfriend of one of Richard's old friends. It seems Nikki needs an employment reference and decides to pay Richard an unannounced visit for a letter of recommendation. It's obvious from the start that Nikki is nothing but trouble. She's everything that Richard's wife Brenda (Gina Torres of Alias) is not: sexy and adventurous. She has him p-whipped without even giving him the "p." The movie follows Richard's efforts to remain on the straight and narrow in the face of temptation. In his heart Richard is a good man; he just needs to spice up his marriage. He ultimately realizes what's most important in life and manages to get his priorities in order. This is only after Nikki gets him completely discombobulated. Is that a word? I've always wondered if that was really a word. What's the opposite. Is it combobulated? What does that mean?
I Think I love My Wife is humourous at best and mildly entertaining at worst. It has an indie feel, which is kind of a good thing. It falters at points, and certain parts of the story don't make sense. One scene in particular seems like it should have been part of a dream sequence, but Richard reacts as if it takes place in reality. And another thing, are we supposed to believe that Kerry Washington is hot for Chris Rock??? I mean, come on. I love Chris Rock as much as the next person -- the man is a comedic genius; but he's one step from Pookie in New Jack City. His lips looked so cracked at one point I was like "damn!" But hey, that's why they call it the movies, right? Because you get to see some shit that would never happen in real life.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
300
Wow...300 was a feast for the eyes and the most visually decadent movie I've seen in a long time. Based on the graphic novels of Frank Miller (Sin City), the movie tells the story of 300 undermanned, outmatched Spartans who valiantly sacrificed their lives in The Battle of Thermopylae.
In the ancient times of Greek battle, the soldiers of Sparta were the bravest, most fearless warriors in the world. They were bred for combat, preparing for war soon after taking their first steps. It is this innate heroism that fuels 300 Spartans and their King Leonidas in war against mighty Persia. When Xerxes, the king of Persia, demands that Sparta submit to him, Sparta refuses. The gauntlet has been laid, and the only alternative is war. Despite the odds, the Spartans manage to slay many Persian soldiers. Unfortunately their victory is merely a moral one, as valor ultimately succumbs to manpower.
300 is straightforward in its storytelling, and a welcomed departure from other period movies that have had more convoluted historical underpinnings. The movie focuses on one battle. We know who's fighting and we know their motivation. We can also surmise the result, but the treat lies in getting there. The battle scenes are choreographed wonderfully, and the cinematography is something to behold. 300 will appeal mostly to men due to its violence, but women are in for a pleasant surprise with the myriad of scantily clad Spartans, particularly King Leonidas, played by actor Gerard Butler. I watched a television program about the making of 300, and each one of the male actors was whipped into impeccable physical condition. They looked like warriors in every sense of the word, literally dropping to the floor to perform push-ups between takes. It pays off, as they all look like they could tear a person to shreds with their bare hands. So on that note, 300 is a movie that will oddly appeal to men and women equally, if the girls can get past the violence (it's not too bad). It's been said that 300 is as revoulutionary and groundbreaking as The Matrix. I wouldn't dare go that far, but its unique sensuality makes it a movie worth seeing.
In the ancient times of Greek battle, the soldiers of Sparta were the bravest, most fearless warriors in the world. They were bred for combat, preparing for war soon after taking their first steps. It is this innate heroism that fuels 300 Spartans and their King Leonidas in war against mighty Persia. When Xerxes, the king of Persia, demands that Sparta submit to him, Sparta refuses. The gauntlet has been laid, and the only alternative is war. Despite the odds, the Spartans manage to slay many Persian soldiers. Unfortunately their victory is merely a moral one, as valor ultimately succumbs to manpower.
300 is straightforward in its storytelling, and a welcomed departure from other period movies that have had more convoluted historical underpinnings. The movie focuses on one battle. We know who's fighting and we know their motivation. We can also surmise the result, but the treat lies in getting there. The battle scenes are choreographed wonderfully, and the cinematography is something to behold. 300 will appeal mostly to men due to its violence, but women are in for a pleasant surprise with the myriad of scantily clad Spartans, particularly King Leonidas, played by actor Gerard Butler. I watched a television program about the making of 300, and each one of the male actors was whipped into impeccable physical condition. They looked like warriors in every sense of the word, literally dropping to the floor to perform push-ups between takes. It pays off, as they all look like they could tear a person to shreds with their bare hands. So on that note, 300 is a movie that will oddly appeal to men and women equally, if the girls can get past the violence (it's not too bad). It's been said that 300 is as revoulutionary and groundbreaking as The Matrix. I wouldn't dare go that far, but its unique sensuality makes it a movie worth seeing.
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